Vassar: “First Comes Love” Photography Project

Inspired by B. Proud’s work First Comes Love: Portraits of Enduring LGBTQ+ Relationships,  the “Vassar: ‘First Comes Love’ Photography Project” was conceived by Phocus, Vassar’s student photography org, in collaboration with the College LGBTQ+ Center.  The project documents relationships in the Vassar College community and explores what the concept of “chosen family” means.
A reprise of this exhibit, which first opened to the Vassar community in February 2018, will be on view in the Aula during lunch time on 7 April, 2018.

Please click below for a sample of four images from the exhibit.

How did you meet your partner(s)/friend(s)?

In a class in the Jewish Studies department, Queering Judaism. It focused on gender non-conformity and non-normative sexual identities in the Jewish tradition.

How does the image you had of relationships growing up compare to your relationship now?

By inverting the common adage “first comes love, then comes marriage,” First Comes Love showcases the value of queer relationships, regardless of whether or not they’re aspiring for legal marriage.

Sam Greenwald and Josh Horneff

How did you meet your partner(s)/friend(s)?

Vassar College Choir

How does the image you had of relationships growing up compare to your relationship now?

My relationship now is more dynamic, beautiful, and healthy than anything I imagined growing up!

Kira and Sarah

How did you meet your partner(s)/friend(s)?

We met working together, at the University of Illinois

What does ‘chosen’ family mean to you?

I have always felt family was a chosen thing, not by birth alone.  I didn’t know those words “chosen family” when I was younger, but I knew who I trusted, who I could depend on, who helped me learn and grow- and those weren’t always the family I was born into.   I also believe that chosen family come and go, it’s fluid.  They fill what you need, when you need it, and might stay awhile, or might be brief- but you give to them and they give to you. I don’t mourn the many chosen families I’ve had over the years, I can look back at them with gratitude and a little bit of missing them, and I can enjoy those who are in my life now, knowing there will be others.  One of my favorite quotes is “Every experience prepares you for the next one.  You just don’t ever know what the next one is going to be.” I feel that way about most relationships in my life. My children however, well they are forever!

Jodie Castanza, Sara, Olivia and Logan

How did you meet your partner(s)/friend(s)?

Angela and I met online

What does ‘chosen’ family mean to you?

Chosen’ family means to us that we get to choose the people we want to surround ourselves with. People we choose to share ourselves with and we come to love them for the individuals they are.

Candice Signor-Brown and Angela Signor-Brown

Photographs by Emma Brodsky ’20, Cassie Jain ’20, Haley Kardek ’19 and Eilif Rønning ’20.